We met as friends of a mutual friend, as most do. We became close over time, though not enough. Not close enough and not enough time. A saint does not describe the soul, a sinner does not damn it. He was fun, clever, boisterous, a good friend. Not someone you'd expect to lose, let alone take them self away.
Why did this happen, what could be done to prevent it? Nothing, everything, something? A better friend would have done anything. We had those conversations about life and death, and what it all meant. What happens after, if there is an after. Neither of us knew or wanted to find out. Why?
Why didn't he talk to me, his friend? Were we not close enough? Was our friendship lacking, in some way? What to do now?
Sitting here, writing this, asking these questions, doesn't mean a thing. My friend is not with us any more, and I didn't see it happening. How crappy a friend am I? Remember your friends, cherish them, love them, tell them that they mean something to you, everyday.
I know this isn't a "real" diary, it's just me venting.